Men of Honour

I am always on the lookout for new resources that say something meaningful about the state of men in Australia today, that inspire me to do better in my own life, and that I can refer friends/colleagues/clients to if they want further reading.  I'm not talking about high minded theoretical texts, but practical resources that speak in plain, simple language that is accessible for everyone.  Quite by accident while browsing at a local bookshop, I have come across this amazing new book by someone called Glen Gerreyn, called "Men of Honour".

I had never heard of this guy before, but after doing some light research, I've learned that this guy is a powerhouse of insight, compassion, and hope for young people, but particularly young men.

An issue that continually comes up in my therapy conversations with young men is, "What does it mean to be a man?"  There is some research out there (that Glen quotes) that young men are raised by social media rather than fathers, who have left the family, or spend most of their time working.  I often wonder whether a lot of fathers realise that the word "parent" is regularly used as both a verb and a noun.  As a result, a lot of young men have no idea what constitutes healthy masculinity because their fathers aren't talking to them about it, and when you're being raised by Facebook, you're in trouble.  When I pose "the man question" to my male clients often they respond with blank stares or throw out some ill-conceived ideas about excessive alcohol consumption, emotional restriction, casual sex, or easy provocation to violence.

To stimulate their thinking on the process, I often give my clients a list of "alternatives" for healthy masculinity which read something like this:

• A man is responsible and accountable for his actions
• A man exercises authority... over himself
• A man is concerned about personal growth
• A man is grounded and demonstrates stability
• A man receives and gives respect
• A man serves his community
• A man strives to overcomes hardships through working on himself and reaching out to others
• A man's family and friends are at the core of his life
• A man has strong pro-social values

This list is a starting point in a much larger discussion of what it means to be a man, but ultimately the aim is to develop some reflection around what your day-to-day behaviour says about your beliefs about what it means to be a man in 2012.  This isn't rocket science, but over time I've found that what might seem like the most obvious interventions are often the most powerful.  Add and subtract from this list as you like...

Oh, and I encourage you to Youtube Glen Gerreyn to watch him in action - he's a force of nature, but young people could use that at a time where apathy seems to reign.