Cyber-bullying as a mental health problem

There is no doubt that the rise of social media, in particular Facebook and Twitter, has many benefits to society.  It allows people to express points of view and connect with others in ways that were impossible even a decade or so ago.  Without it, I would not be able to write a blog like this or tweet about things of interest to me and others.  But with the rise of these new ways to connect with others in pro-social ways, also means that there are new ways for those with unhealthy ways of communicating and/or clear mental health issues to harass and abuse others.  This issue rises up occasionally in the media, particularly with regard adolescents and young people (or as I like to call them, "adults in training), but became national news when TV presenter/media personality, Charlotte Dawson exposed people on twitter who launched a sustained cyber-bully campaign against her leading to her hospitalisation last week.

So what's the difference between cyber-bullying and regular face-to-face bullying?  Cyber-bullying is often defined as the intentional and repeated infliction of harm through the use of electronic devices (e.g., computers, mobile phones).  The difference of cyber-bullying lies in the medium whereby the bully may remain anonymous and therefore avoid the consequences.  In my professional work with young people, I have heard the most horrendous things texted/tweeted/facebooked about clients by people they may or may not know.  The consequences for the bullied, as in the case of Charlotte Dawson, can be devastating.  What is perhaps even more clear for me is that those who are perpetuating the bullying are clearly unwell.

What cyber bullies appear to have in common with face-to-face bullies is their inability to communicate in a way that is socially appropriate or healthy.  In truth, it's probably relatively easy to spot a cyber-bully/face-to-face bully in your day-to-day life.  They are the ones who's woes in life are always somebody else's fault, they use phrases like, "You/He/She made me...", their communication style is generally passive-aggressive (or just plain aggressive).  They never start a sentence with "I" because that would mean owning their behaviour or feelings.

There is much talk about legal ramifications for cyber-bullies in the media this week, but I'd like to propose mandatory psychological treatment.  Reading the appalling tweets directed at Charlotte Dawson (e.g., "kill yourself you putrid piece of shit"), they are not being written by people who are happy or  healthy.  It's their lack of compassion that we recognise as human that is so shocking.  But the truth is that a lot of people have no idea how to speak to others in ways that are healthy, build relationships, or in providing appropriate feedback.  The majority of client work I have done includes some aspect of communication skills training, and clients often find it amazing the ways their use of positive language can both enhance and protect relationships.  Not many people really want to go through their lives continually wrecking their relationships through an inability to communicate appropriately to those they love.  The call for legal sanctions is understandable, but the as with any legal issue, there is generally a chronic psychological issue lurking nearby, and sanctions for illegal behaviour without treatment for psychological issues is in the end, counter-productive.